Spring is not actually here

The beginning of April is right around the corner and I am still wearing my coat everyday. I was running to the bus stop with coffee in one hand and my other hand thrust in my pocket to keep the wind chill from threatening it with frost bite. In fact, a man yelled at me for not having my coat buttoned up all the way, even though I was doing my signature barely-getting-my-shoes-on-in-enough-time-to-catch-the-bus thing, so how could I have time to button my coat?!

Anyway, I did laundry on Sunday (and yes, it is a day long production, as I am sure you know) and as I was sorting out my spring dresses that I was able to wear only weeks ago I looked outside and gave the sky the bird. Well not really, but it is a metaphor, or perhaps an allegory. I don't remember much of english (the subject, not the language (or perhaps both)). Anyway, if you are lusting over the warm weather clothes tempting you from your closet as much as I am (which I hope not, because wearing dresses around your house with thermal underwear underneath is not a good look for anyone, and I would prefer that it was contained to my own awkward space) then here is some springy sartorial porn for you.

Ohhh yeahhhh.

Anna Sui is my kindred spirit in doily pants. All of the clothes she shows are things that I want to put on my body, and in these temperatures, I would put them all on at the same time (for warmth, but also for inability to decide what to choose because they are all soooo good). Do you remember that summer, when you were 16 and you had a crappy car that only had a cassette player so you and your best friend would listen to the same old Bob Dylan cassette as you cruised around smoking weed and  vintage shopping all summer? Well probably not, because you aren't me, or my Jerimiah. But that is what this Spring 2011 Anna Sui feels like to me. My 16 year old self who was obsessed with bandanna pattern and weird scarves and shit would lovvvvve this. And so do I, because it is amazing.

This look has it all.

DVF was the first "designer" item I ever owned. I got one of her dresses for 12 bucks, new with tags, from the Austin Assistance League, which is the most amazing thrift store anyone could ever hope for. If you are ever in Austin, you must check it out. And then go across the street to Top Drawer which is pretty good finds too. And you might as well go to the Omlettry and get some delicious breakfast (cash only). But I digress. The fact is DVF has some amazing pattern business going on, which I love. But frankly, I am a little put off by this, mainly because she stole my look. I mean fo real. Fanny pack? Check. High waisted shorts? Check. Pattern, pattern, pattern? Check, check, check. Sleeves that are too short? Well frankly, I don't do this on purpose, I just have weird arms, but still. Red lipstick for daytime? Check!

I love, love, love this look. And I am flattered (and shocked) that fanny packs have made it onto the fashion scene.

Oh Marni, what have you done.

This look has my favourite parts of the Marni collection, all in one amazing picture. I like to call it, Scuba Diving Fashionista has Puffer Fish Accident. This model is rocking an aviator/swimming cap, how could you go wrong?! I don't think there is much more to say about this except that I will cite this picture as a source next time someone calls me out on wearing my shorts full of holes. Oh, and one last thing, the loafer tassels on flip-flops are an inspired way to bring Wall Street to the boardwalk. Or wherever the hell you would wear this.